strong bones... not always a good thing...

This is an ad for a South African brand of milk. Let's see, a guy gets stuck in bear trap; guy tries to free himself by sawing off foot; guy fails to saw off foot due to incredibly strong, milk-fortified bones; guy dies and rots. Wow. How totally awesome is that. I would love to shake the designers hand... I'm sure the full-blown AIDS didn't help the guy either, though...

it's been a while

So it's been quite some time since I've done a post... well over a year in fact. I don't know how often I'll post here, as I tend to be whimsical with these kinds of things, but lately I've been reading a lot of blogs, probably because I'm bored at work.

So what's new... I got a job at Cardinal Health about 4 months ago. I stopped working for that shit-hole Sarcom finally, after something like 6 1/2 years. So now I do pretty much the same thing I did before, but get paid more. I'm on the 8-5 kick, which sucks. I guess I'm just a night person, and always will be. Everyone always told me that I'd get used to it, that it would become easier, but it hasn't. I still find myself hard-pressed to go to bed before 1am, and generally end up falling asleep around 2am... So yeah, waking up at 7am sucks hard on 5 hours of sleep.

What else... Still in school, took last quarter off as I really was slacking and wasting my money. I have like 30 credits left, but to be honest I don't care much about school. I guess at this point in my life, I don't want to do anything that would require me to have a degree, or be assisted by me having said degree. I'm tired of waking up every morning and despising going to work. What kind of a life is that? What's that you say? Everyone does it? FUCK that! Seriously, is that the answer? Beause that's how the world works? Again i say it, FUCK THAT! This is our one shot on this earth, our one life... So why should I spend it being unhappy? I want to do something that makes me happy, something that lets me set my own hours, but yet make a shit ton of money.

So that leaves me with 4 options:
1. Win the lottery - this is probably _not_ going to happen, as I never play the lottery.
2. Start my own business - I definitely have that start-up spirit, but have yet to find an idea that would work
3. Marry into money - seeing as how the girl I'm currently dating isn't filthy rich, this is a far off chance
4. Play poker professionally - this seems to be the most realistic option for me.

So yeah, poker professionally. I honestly believe I have the skills to win consistently at poker, the problem is at the moment, I have so many bills to pay, I cannot establish a separate bankroll for poker. Currently my poker roll _IS_ my checking/savings accounts. Whatever I win in poker goes straight to paying bills. So that basically means I play poker less frequently, and therefore have less chances to win. It's pretty frustrating to not be able to do something you enjoy, especially when that something could realistically replace your day job. But who knows where I'll end up. I would love to pick up and go to vegas and play for a living, but realistically Ohio will have casinos within the next 5 years, and currently there's enough cash games and tournaments that I could play every day of the week, all day long. So hopefully I'll get some loot together and start winning some cash!

I guess I should get back to work, or at least go smoke a cigarette... Yeah, that sounds good ;)

Later bitches.

E

i've been there before... knocking on the same door

I think there are a few movies that really hit the target when it comes to how we act with other people in our lives... and Closer is one of them. First of all, I must say, Natalie Portman continues to suprise me. Not only is she gorgeous, but she can act... and pulls at my strings when she cries. *claps* Jude Law delivers his usual stellar performance, and finally a movie that Julia Roberts gets to say 'fuck' multiple times. Clive Owen, who is a relative unknown to most of you mainstream movie go-ers delivers a great performance. I've always been a fan of him, and he just keeps on doing good things.

I still have yet to see Elektra, though I've heard good things about the CG and fight scenes, I'm sure a good copy will be out for me to get my thieving hands on soon enough.

To move on to some more dynamic conversation, I turn to poker. I started keeping track of how much money I actually spend on poker... it was one of my new year's resolutions that I decided to do about 5 days after the new year ;) Since January 1st I've played in 10 poker games, so that's a little more than 1 game every two days. Yeah, I've been a busy little gambler. But things are looking up... of those 10 games, I've won a total of $415 for a profit of $180... so for all of you who think I gamble too much, suck on those numbers.

Ok what else can I blather on about... I got about 2 hours of sleep last night (Saturday night), and about 3 hours Friday night... I really need to stop doing this on the weekends, it's just not healthy. Friday night was my own fault, I wasn't out doing anything of consequence, I was just relaxing and reading a book and the next thing I knew it was 3am... and yeah, 6am came quickly. Last night I was playing poker, which in hindsight I knew I should have passed on. I was tired as it was, and just frankly wasn't playing my best. I made bad reads, and it seemed like everytime I made a move at a pot, someone would re-raise me and there was no way I call. It went like that more times than I care to remember, then I had A,Kd and it held vs K,10s and doubled me up to around 3,200 in chips (we started with 5,000). By now the blinds were around 200/400, so I was low stack just from the blinds. I like to be able to play my hands not the blinds, but being short I knew I couldn't afford that luxury. Again, I made a position raise on the button w/ A,7o to 500. The SB raises to around 2,000, which of course I cannot call. So then after another round of blinds I'm sitting with 2,200 in chips with my SB of 200 in the pot. The BB was all in basically cause he had 500 chips (BB was 400). Under the gun the large stack at the table raised and made it 1,500 to go. The table folded around to me, and I look down at A,Qo. Now being short stacked, this of course is a prime opportunity for me to double through. Since I knew I didn't have to worry about the BB, I put the raiser on a low pocket pair... so knowing I was on the losing end of a coin flip, i went all in for around 800 more, and the large stack of course, called me. Turns out he had J,J, but that's just as well to me as 2,2, as he has a made hand, and I didn't. So I didn't hit anything, busted out. Then we played over at JT's for a little less of a buy in, and didn't get going till around 11:30pm. I was huge chip stacked until JT sucked out on me... I limped in with K,10o and JT was the BB and checked. Flop came x,x,10. I lead out and bet 400, which was around the size of the pot. JT sits and thinks, raises me to 1,000. I smooth call, off we go to the turn. Turn is another blank. I bet 1,000, JT goes all in. I quickly call, knowing either I have him outkicked or he was on draw. JT shows me J,10o. So of course, I have him in a crushed position with only 3 outs... and of course, he hits another J on the river giving him 2 pair. That hurt. I then got A,A and got no action... and lost, not due to a lack of hot cards, due to a bad move. I was in a hand with Coleman with K,9o. I had limped in, Coleman had raised around 3x the big blind. I put him on some middle suited connectors... Q,9, J,9, etc... but didn't think I was dominated. Flop came J,3,J. I check, Coleman checks. Turn comes an A. I check, Coleman bets 500. Again, I really think I was just tired, because there was not enough in the pot for this move, and I knew I was beat, but I was trying to get him off his hand. I was betting, and by betting I mean hoping, that he hit his A on the river and was trying to buy the pot up right there. If he hit his Ace, I knew I could push him out, but only with all my chips, so, I push them all in there. He quickly calls, and I knew he had the Jack. He of course turns over trips, and I know I'm drawing dead with King high and muck my cards. So yeah, that's 2 bad moves in 2 games. I think I'm going to take a little break from playing poker till Wednesday @ Denny's. I need to get my head straightened out. I've been winning a lot, but there are aspects of my play I need to fix, and fix quickly.

So yeah, that's about it... classes are started, and I'm now 2 weeks in, starting week 3 on tuesday... only 8 more to go... and by that I mean 8 more weeks to go this quarter. In no way am I close to finished. I so regret putting this off... but then I wouldn't have all my nice toys.

Oh yeah, some weird shit happened this morning. 1st, I have for the first time slept in and been late for work on a saturday or sunday morning. I woke up at 7:15am w/ no recollection of my alarm going off at 6:15am. Who knows, then I go outside... yeah, my car which I parked in the driveway, is fucking sitting in the middle of the street. I had backed it in at 4am that morning, and there was already snow, so what I think happened was I might have spun my tires a bit backing into the driveway, and when I parked and pulled my E-brake (i never leave it in gear), got out and went inside, it must have just gradually slid down. Thank GOD no one t-boned my car, as there was easily 4 inches of snow on the ground when I got outside at 7:20am. So tonight I'm going to test it again... cause if it's my E-brake I need to know. The remote starter on the car doesn't work if it's in gear, so this could present a problem... it's a '99 civic though, so I doubt my e-brake is gone, but one never knows.

That's it for now... go fuck yourself San Diego.

New Year's Eve is overrated

I was just wondering if anyone actually reads this little thing I call my blog... I'm guessing no, but that's quite alright. I'm finding this is a nice outlet for all of my witty, sarcastic, and down right fucking hilarious comments on life and the things we do.

So onto the title of this entry, new year's eve is overrated. I don't understand why, of all nights, you would want to be out driving around, party hopping, and getting fucked up. Wouldn't it be a shitload more fun to have a new year's eve party on a night when no one else is doing the _exact_ same thing you are doing? I guess the reason I don't think it's all that great is I was sick this new year's eve, and didn't leave my room. I've been sick since I got back from Indiana last Tuesday night at around 3:30am. I haven't had a cigarette for six days now, give or take an hour. I think I'm going to use this as an excuse to stop smoking for a while. I love smoking, don't get me wrong, and I'm absolutely great at it (it's one of my better skills), but I hate getting sick. So I think I'm going to say if I get a 3.5gpa or better this quarter in school (classes started today), then I can smoke again, but only when playing poker or while out at a bar or some similar dive/shady place. So I guess I'm going to be doing really fucking well in school this quarter, because god knows I need a cigarette. So yeah, back to new years... I guess I haven't really done anything stellar for new years since 2000, that was a good new years. And now I'm bored with this subject...onto bigger and better things.

I saw The Grudge the other day finally, and wasn't too impressed. There were some jump scenes, as well as a few that just fucking weirded me out... but what I want to know is, just about a whole fucking family disappears, and only when Buffy gets into trouble does Tokyo's finest start digging. Also, can't you come up with something creepier than that stupid gutteral (sp?) sound for the ghost to make? The special fx was mediocre, though not much was needed, and I suppose the music created most of the jump scenes, but I was expecting better from Buffy.

I also saw In Good Company with Topher Grace and Dennis Quaid... now this is a good movie. Topher finally gets a leading role, though he shares most of his camera time with Quaid, that he can show off his acting skills. I've always been a fan of his characters since I started watching That 70's Show, and even though I didn't like this character quite as much, it's still Topher, and he did a great job with it. I do have to say though, Scarlette Johansson didn't give off quite the Lost in Translation vibe I was hoping to get from her, but she wasn't horrific either. Also CSI's Marg Helgenberger was great, and man, does she look good for a 45+ year old! I was a little upset with the ending though, and to avoid any spoilers, I'll just say I was left wanting...

Ah yes, I also saw Finding Neverland with Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet, and once again, Depp has given me another movie to add to my must-see collection. You see, I find that so many people haven't ever seen some of the greats that most people who are moderately interested in movies have seen... so I've started this collection of movies that when I meet someone who is one of those people who's seen your typical top-10 blockbuster movies, but never any of the real movies with heart or a great storyline, and you rattle off your top 10 list and they've only seen one of them... I mean come on, who hasn't seen High Fidelity? Are you serious? It's fucking John Cusack people! Or who hasn't seen Edward Scissorhands? Johnny Depp... Winona Ryder or however her name is spelled? Jesus! So this list will be a quick and efficient way for me to say, do not engage me in conversation until you have watched these movies. Hell I'll make my kids watch them when they turn 16. So anyways, back to the movie. Finding Neverland was great. You just can't seem to put Depp and a bad script together. Though I found the pacing was a little lax at times, overall it was a well shot, well acted, well written movie that has a great ending.

Movies I still have to see: Kinsey, Life Aquatic (I saw the 1st half already), The Door in the Floor, Stealing Sinatra, and Before Sunset

not so smart birds

So I was just outside, taking a nice break from doing nothing at work, smoking a cigarette, and I look up and see a shitload of birds flying south... apparently for the winter. So my question is, when the fuck did they decide it was cold enough to migrate south? It's hit single digits multiple times now, and there is snow everywhere... it's not getting _any_ colder... they might as well have stayed and just waited it out... it should warm up in a few months... hell it's supposed to reach 40 on wednesday. so way to go birdies... i was expecting to see a few drop out of the air, as with the windchill up there it has to be -5, but sadly, they kept chugging along. All I know is, if I were to migrate south for the winter, I would've left in October.

the longest day of my life

Today, the longest day of my life, started off bright and early at 6am. I know what you're thinking... what is a healthy, charming, sexy, arrestingly hilarious, single young man doing waking up at 6am on a Sunday morning, if not dashing out of some gorgeous girl's house before her father wakes up... well I'll tell you: I'm fucking working. I for some reason, unkown to me still, work two twelve hour shifts Saturday and Sunday, 7am-7pm. Right, I know, it's horrible! Oh wait, I know why I do it... I don't have to worry about ever changing my hours with school... Still though, I immensly regret the decision to work this shift, though I've been doing it for what seems like almost a year now. So anyways, I commonly refer to these two days as the longest days of my life. Though I wouldn't say I actually _do_ anything, I get paid a nice amount to chat with friends online, watch movies at my whim, and sometimes when I've stayed up a little to late the night before... sleep.

So once again, here I find myself at work, with nothing to do. I always used to say, "People who are easily bored are quite often boring themselves..." Well I still endorse this whole-heartedly, but when working a twelve hour shift, I think I can cut myself some slack. I've decided to get in on this whole 'blogg' thing, mainly because I'm bored, and because I feel that you will be a better person for having read my rantings and ravings.

So, let's see... where to start. Ahh yes, Christmas. Well there was a noticeable shortage of presents under the tree for me this year, but that was expected. I had asked for a snowboard rack for my car, but then decided to goto Vegas instead, and just had my parents by my plane ticket. So yeah, Vegas was definitely worth it... watching all of the poker pros play some incredible poker at the Bellagio in the WPT 15K event was amazing. But anyways, back to me and my presents. I got a nice black Nike hoodie -- side note: I found out that Nike means Victory... who'dve thunk it. I got some DVD+Rs for my 'legal' backup DVDs... I got some of my favorite colonge, cologne, colougneasdf, whatever, that smelly stuff, Emporio Armani... and some other misc. stuff. So, all in all, pretty good Christmas.

Now we come to the tragic event of the week... Wednesday night we had a huge snowstorm here in Columbus... there's probably 2 feet of snow on the ground, and genius me decides, hey, what better time than to go hit up midnight madness at Mad River. I sucker a buddy in as well, convince him to drive, and two hours (45 mile trip), one spinout, ten cigarettes, and one demolished snowbank later we arrive for probably the best snowboarding conditions to be had all year. So we boarded until around 3am when they closed the lifts, then made the long, 35mph journey back home. I swear, we passed so many vans and trucks and SUVs that were stuck in snowbanks... with my buddy's Civic. Go Civic go! So anyways, yes, the tragedy. I had taken my wallet out of my pants when we went boarding, kept my ID and debit card (incase I died or incurred some horrible injuries on the mountain, I didn't want them to have to ID my dental records ;P ), and when we got back to the car, I put the wallet on his dashboard. This is the last time I recall seeing it. What I believe happened is I put it in my pocket. So we're cruising back, see a guy in a shitty old VW Bug, the young hippy ones, not the "i'm too old to have long hair now, but I can buy a car to relive my glory days" bug, who is stuck on the side of the road. I say, you know what, I got some energy left, let's help this guy out. So we do, after about 10 minutes of digging and pushing and pulling, we get him unstuck, which I think looking back might have been a mistake, 1. we then had to follow behind him and he was swerving all over the road, and 2. I believe my wallet fell out on the side of the road. We ended up following him for a few miles, then he tried to let us pass, or get off an exit (we still don't know which), and got stuck. Me and my buddy just kept driving well... I was all out of good deeds, and plus, he said, and he really said this, "Guess snowboarders are good for something after all." Yeah buddy, dig yourself out this time. So no good deed goes unpunished, and I just cancelled my credit cards, notified the appropriate governmental departments that I lost my SS card and a copy of my birth certificate (remember I recently flew to Vegas), so yeah, fun shit.

Wow, that's the longest paragraph I've ever written. Perhaps this blogg thing is a bad idea as it is promoting bad grammar on my part ;P

So last night we went to Lee Garden. Lee Garden is a chinese restraunt/bar that is open on Christmas day... and is about the _only_ thing open. So about 6 years ago, 20 of our friends started going up there every christmas day, and we'd all hang out an dhave a good time. So I go up there last night, not having been for a few years, and holy shit, there's about 300 people there. I saw quite a few people I hadn't seen since highschool, so that's what, 5 years ago? I also bumped into Jen... none of you know Jen, as thankfully I didn't have a blogg at the time to document that fucking rollercoaster. She was looking quite good. I don't know what it is about that girl, but I tend to do stupid fucking things around her... like be nice. Since I'm here, I might as well share my epiphany about women with all of you... so here it is:

The reason why most guys say, "Nice guys always finish last", is because they do. Assholes always end up with the girl. Until now, you've all been wondering why that is. Well allow me to help solve the equation... Girls like assholes, not because they specifically like guys who are assholes, but because assholes don't give a fuck. Girls like this. Nice guys tend to give a fuck, and tend to say this. Girls do not like this at all. Of course, god forbid a girl actually admit to this. So, being a nice guy myself, I was faced with some pretty drastic personality changes if I wanted to survive. So, I have decided that I can be a cross between a nice guy and an asshole. I can not give a fuck what you think about me. I can not give a fuck about you, or atleast pretend not to... and I can still be somewhat kind and considerate, though to an incredibly lesser degree. I've noticed that since a month ago when I implimented this, I've done considerably better with women. So there, I just gave all you guys the tools you need to get women. Be funny, be _fun_, don't give a flying fuck what she thinks about you, and don't give a flying fuck if she likes you or not. I kid you not, when girls get the vibe that you don't care about them, what they think about you, or how they feel about you, they won't be able to get enough of you. It's weird... I know.

So yeah, I ran into Jen last night, she was looking amazing as I said before... I chatted with her for a few minutes about nothing consequential, and then moved on. I find it is key to leave girls on a high note in the conversation... what? you're lauging your ass off? sweet, i see someone i know over there, later... So as I left, i just reached across the table, squeezed her hand and said I was leaving. She said "call me", to which I nodded, then proceeded to say goodbye to some other people.. I don't know if I'm going to call her or not. I'm leaning towards not... I think she might have just said this as a casual thing, and probably didn't even know she said it. One of those customary blanket statements you say without any real meaning behind them. It's like when you run into someone from highschool that you didn't really like... you ask how they're doing, but deep down you really don't give a fuck. Though I will probably think of some stupid ass reason to call her and then when i'm talking to her a lapse will happen in the conversation and I'll ask her out... then she'll flake on me, or say she's busy and can't do it (and then not suggest another, better time) and I'll regret doing it. Yeah, this probably doesn't make much sense... perhaps sometime soon I will give some background, it's just a drag and I don't feel like writing about it. But it's safe to say that I screwed myself with this girl. I think girls tend to label some guys as wusses (which comes from being too nice), and back to what I said above, girls don't like these kinds of guys. The problem is, once you are labeled as a bitch, it's hard to move out of that and back into the "oh he's not a bitch, i might be interested in him" realm. The only problem is, now that I've realized the problem and fixed it, there's not much I can do now... if I call, I look needy, if I don't call, well then it's up to her, and I'm pretty sure she's not calling. Women want mystery, suspense, and a guy who makes them work at it... being nice and "available" makes it too easy for them, and they lose interest... quickly. So guys, don't make the same mistakes I did... keep some of it close to your chest.. you will have much MUCH better luck with women.

Wow, I've killed a little bit of time by typing all this, but it's time to go smoke a cigarette... by the way, I bought two packs of these Malboro Blend No. 27s... they were buy one get one free... and they are fucking Jud Nelson harsh... I normally smoke camel lights or parliment lights... these blend 27s must be akin to Malboro Reds, as I've been buzzing like a 12 year old off these things... so watch out all you wary smokers... you've been warned!

Hope everyone had a good Christmas... and if you find my wallet... dont' steal my identity... please...